her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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