That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
