Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
