i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
