im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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