Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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