who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I know her cup size but not her name....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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