I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
