Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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