I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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