oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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