I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
