dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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