Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
