do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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