remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
