nut hugger
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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