never play flip cup with pint glasses
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
