This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
