My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
