well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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