this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
