Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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