this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You may now shotgun with the bride
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
