Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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