he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
we should paint friendship bongs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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