Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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