I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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