First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
