If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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