He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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