Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
