How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
