fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
