why im i the only drunk person in the library?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
