I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
