A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
