with your own penis?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
