I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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