So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
