Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
