It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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