C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
