1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
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