I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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