Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
