what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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