It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
