i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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