so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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