i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
